My first few years as a matchmaker was really challenging. Instead of doing the interviewing, I was the one being interviewed. It was nothing like I had imagined.
Let me take you back to that time: it was 2009. I was in my late 20s, meeting singles who were easily double my age, coming to me for dating and relationship advice.
Over my eight years as a matchmaker in Toronto, I’ve received numerous wedding invites from my clients – clients whose happy ending I was a very big part of. Though I love weddings, my habit is to graciously decline, not wanting the couple to feel pressured to introduce me to their guests as their matchmaker. Though it is a matter of pride—it is, after all, what I do—I am content in my behind-the-scenes role. Making people happy is what makes me happy.
Recently, however, I did attend the wedding of a couple I introduced. Over the years, the couple had become good friends of mine and my husband’s and I was happy to attend as a friend – not “the matchmaker”. It was an absolutely surreal experience.
I’m going to make a somewhat controversial statement:
Divorced men are the best ones to date.
Wait right there – before you pass judgment, just hear me out for a second. Nobody enters a relationship or marriage hoping that it’s going to end, but sometimes—and there could be a hundred different reasons a relationship does not succeed—the couple decides to part ways, moving on in different directions.
I found my passion when I was in my twenties, and it was the best “gift” I could have received from the universe.
These days, twenty-somethings are still doing a lot of soul searching, an expedition that often lasts deep into their 30s, but for me, I had already gotten to know myself quite well at an early age. I started my first business, a women’s clothing boutique called Tango, at the age of 25, and really started putting myself out there. I had a fire in my heart, but had limited business experience, so the journey was an adventure to say the least.
Compatibility is a term often used in terms of describing our intimate relationships – but is it really the arbiter of a successful match?
The truth is, initial compatibility in a relationship is often based on shared interests, such as you both like to party on the weekends, or you both enjoy expensive wine. This will be most evident early in the relationship, delivering a false sense of compatibility that isn’t based on reality.
Matchmaking is my heart. It’s not just about setting up singles, it’s getting to know people and helping them learn about themselves. As matchmakers, we (that is me, and my team at Match Me Canada) help people transform from single life to being partnered and in a relationship; it’s not just our introductions that these matches work, it’s so much more.
My life is love and wine.
Follow my blog to learn about love, matchmaking, wine and what it's like being the wife of a winemaker.
