When Times Get Tough, Look Within
Everything seems overwhelming. The news, social media, and just existence in general. I don’t know about you, but I am taking things one day at a time.
When I met Mike in 2012, he had already planted his, then, hobby vineyard. I knew nothing about wine, so the fact that I was dating someone that was educated in viticulture, worked as a winemaker and had his own vineyard was super intimidating to me.
I recently listened to a podcast where the host interviewed author and couples’ therapist Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. I must admit; my mind was blown.
This therapist’s beliefs about companionship were extraordinarily different from what others say, and it was incredibly powerful to hear his message.
I opened a clothing store at the age of 25. I had no management experience. I never took a business course in my life. But something inside me told me that I would be okay.
Getting there was kind of an evolution, and I continue to reinvent myself to this day. I’ve always followed my heart, and I’ve never been afraid to embrace new ideas. And even when things didn’t work out quite the way I’d hoped, I always learned from the experience.
I love my relationship with my husband. We always make time for one another. We make each other a priority and try and go on a date at least once a week.
That weekly date is our time. It’s an opportunity to connect, have adult conversations, and enjoy our time together without the distractions of children or work.
I didn’t have high expectations of myself growing up.Quite the opposite, in fact.
I felt pressure from society to have a career path, a life partner, and a family, all by the age of 25.It was too much!So I decided I would do what felt right for meat the time and see how it would all play out.
I felt that the pressure to have one’s life in order at such a young age was somewhat unrealistic. After all, I was still discovering who I was; how could I possibly have it all figured out that decisively?
It may sound like new-age hippie talk, but leading a more positive life has so many benefits to our health and wellbeing that it bears putting in the effort.
Living a positive life isn’t just about us, either. It’s about how we relate to the people around us, in our personal relationships as well as in business. As humans, we gravitate to positivity. We are like moths to the flame as a smile and a kind word is always preferable to the opposite.
My story is not unique.
I said I wouldn’t change. I said that the baby would have to work around our schedules. I said that we’d still have time for one another.
I was wrong.
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When you belittle your partner, you might think you are helping. The reality is, however, that expressing negativity in your relationship can have far-reaching psychological and emotional effects on both of you.
Many people do this without even realizing. The result can be an erosion of trust and a breaking down of your partner’s confidence to the point where honest, constructive communication is difficult.
There are many ways this can manifest in a relationship. Being able to recognize these tendencies may help you avoid raining a lot of hurt down on the one you love. Ultimately, a healthy relationship grows and thrives through love, understanding, support, and caring – a true understanding of who your partner is and an acceptance of them for all that they are.
You may have noticed that over the years, our friendships change. The people who were once our best friends may drop out of our inner circle and that circle itself may be dwindling sharply.
Studies show that our pool of close friends starts to drop dramatically after the age of 25 and only continues to do so as we get older.
But why is this? And should you be alarmed?
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My life is love and wine.
Follow my blog to learn about love, matchmaking, wine and what it's like being the wife of a winemaker.
